Visitors were drawn to the stage where performers including Roxi D'light and the male strippers of Stripper in Montreal strutted their stuff. Roxi performed a saucy burlesque number where she shed her over the top corset ball gown and paraded in only a pair of panties and matching feathered boa. One of the hunky gents of Stripper in Montreal turned up in a firefighter's uniform and tantalized the screaming female audience with his smooth teasing dance moves. He ended in dance routine bare bottomed and drenched in water.

The shows offered a feast for the eyes but it only represented the tip of the iceberg. The Salon hosted a wide variety of vendors including countless lingerie and sex toy vendors, an erotic candy vender, and an Egyptian cotton bed sheet vendor. One of the vender booths was selling memberships to Alternative Fitness classes; also known as pole dancing classes. The ladies of Alternative Fitness had a couple of poles set up and offered to give me a crash course. For those of you who think it's just a lot of twirling and grinding, you're wrong. My half hour crash course left me with sore muscles and a few bruises. Up on that pole, I felt anything but sensuous. I'm a pretty fit person and it's safe to say Alternative Fitness was my boot camp.

At the far end of the venue was a dark curtained area, where all photography was forbidden, the corner known as the Dungeon. The Dungeon was the domain for all things BDSM. With some special permission I was allowed to take a couple of specific photos. The first was of Lord Saxnot, master of rope play, displaying the art and extreme possibilities of trying your partner up. For those of us who stuck around after his demonstration, he warned us on how not to tie your partner to the bed. "If you're going to tie your partner up, make sure to tie their left hand last," he told us, using a story that happened to his assistant, he told us why. When tying someone up, if they freak out, it'll be when you tie their last limb. His assistant made the mistake of the last limb being his lover's right foot. His lover freaked out and kicked him square in the berries. Leaving the assistant rolling on the floor in pain and the lover tied up and panicked. So the morale of the story is tie the left hand last, because the left fist is a lot weaker than the right foot , and easier to dodge too.

Deeper in the Dungeon a team was displaying a slightly complex toy that give the user a constant mild electric shock. The electric current flows through a glass attachment (the attachments come in various shapes for different types of stimulation). I managed to get to try the electric device on my arm and I found it felt a lot like getting tattooed. There was one non-glass attachment that I got to try, it basically turned me into the conductor, so when I touched anyone around me they got shocked. While I was the conductor the demonstrator told me to kiss my boyfriend. ZAP! Imagine the strongest static shock you've ever felt, times it by five, on your lips. As we were about to kiss the people around us said they saw blue spark fly between our mouths.

The Salon de Seduction is the perfect venue to let your freak flag fly, whether you're into latex or lace, bondage or feather play the show had something to offer for everyone who is remotely in touch with their sexuality.

If so, meet Odd Joe --our highly unlucky protagonist. Can you get him home safely or will you choose to make him suffer a terrible fate?

Hey, if it's all in good fun, then why not? Right Joe?

...

Joe?

So, what will it be? Make a choice for a unique death... err... I mean, ending. I mean... adventure. The farther you go the more random and gruesome the death will be.

Start with making a simple choice for Joe's sake...

Take a walk in this calm and eerilie quiet cemetery or Just go home (where it's safe).

            When most people hear the term alternative fashion the mind automatically leaps to thinking it's just freaks who wear too much black. Granted, wearing black does come with the territory of alternative fashion but there is so much more to it. Alternative fashion is a broad term that umbrellas over several subcultures, but for the sake of this article I'll be concentrating on Goth fashion.

            Most of today's alternative fashion has its roots in punk, starting in the late 1970s. The punk initiative gave way for other alternative communities such as rockabilly, grunge, and of course Goth. The style without a doubt almost always goes in hand with music. You don't exactly see a bunch of punks at a Justin Bieber concert now do you?

            Goths just wear a lot of black and bad makeup. WRONG! You could say the same about widows from the old country; trust me, Nonna is not a Goth.  The Goth culture can be defined by several styles: tight clothes, big boots, hair falls, elaborate make-up. (Brill) The only problem describing Goth fashion, like any other sub-culture fashion, it's not a uniform. There is not one set thing to wear to be considered to be part of the Goth community.

            One of the more noticeable trends is hyperfeminine clothing, for both genders. According to Dunja Brill in her book "Goth Culture" Gothic men will be seen wearing tighter fitting clothing, growing their hair long and wearing makeup. Though it is referred to as a more androgynous fashion, women a rarely seen in overly-masculine clothing. (Brill) If anything women are highly sexualized; tight revealing clothes and the expectation to be overly feminine. Extreme makeup is not unusually but it is not overly-common. Typical gothic makeup ranges from dark eyeliner and eye shadow to pale foundation and liquid liner designs taking up most of the person's face. (Brill)

            The store Cruella, found on Mont Royal Street in Montreal, caters to Montreal's alternative fashion needs.  Upon entering their website they tell you that because styles (and their stock) is always changing they only put up part of their collection online. The online collection includes a large selection of corsets, fishnet tops, retro dresses and bondage pants. No, not everything in their collection is black; the corsets and dresses come in a variety of colors.

            The stores décor reflects the gothic stylings of the clothing it sells. The shelving and floors are dark, the mannequins are pale and for some reason - it might have something to do with the full sized coffin in the middle of the store - you get the strange feeling of death from the place. Before you go thinking you'll be shopping in the dark, the walls and couch are brightly colored blood red and the chrome fixtures really brighten the place up.

            Just as alternative fashion overlaps on mainstream fashion - a black pair of jeans can suit anyone's wardrobe - alternative fashions are not independent of each other.  Take retro dresses for example, predominantly seen as a Rockabilly clothing item; it is not unusual to see someone more gothic or punky in style wearing a retro dress. Just as corsets and bondage pants are more than just a gothic clothing items; crowds of people wear corsets and bondage pants to Rocky Horror events and sex conventions.

            The alternative fashionista will not usually stick to a style that is strictly goth or strictly punk because there is no such thing. If there were, the average person wouldn't wear a stitch of black. As I mentioned before, the style goes with the music and most people tend to listen to more than just one genre. I, for example, listen to a lot of punk, my fair share of rockabilly and just a bit of metal. My boyfriend will listen to symphonic metal (goth rock), punk and ska. The alternative cultures bleed into each other and so do their fashions. It's not unusual to see a girl at a punk show sporting a gothic corset, a punky studded belt, mainstream skinny jeans and a retro hair style.

            Alternative culture is varied and more detail oriented than just a bunch of freaks wearing black. It consists of a collaboration of styles to create something a little out of the ordinary.

Brill, Dunja. Goth Culture: Gender, Sexuality and Style. Oxford: Berg, 2008. Print.

Cruella 63 Mont Royal E  Montreal, QC H2T 1N6

What type of people usually shop at Cruella?

It's quite varied. I'd say half of the people who come shopping here are people that are alternative in some sort of way, the other half is like regular people that you cross anywhere on the street. A lot of people they wouldn't even think they would come and shop in here but sometimes it doesn't necessarily show in their way of dressing. They do enjoy shopping here for a couple of items whether it be jewellery or clothes.

Tell me about the coffins.

There are some that are built as display cases; the ones that are standing up like a bookshelf were made for us quite a while back when the store opened. The two conventional coffins, the one with the boots in the front and the one in the back that serves to put a mannequin in there, those ones are actual real used coffins. Often people take a step back when they hear it's a used coffin. Dead people were exposed in them; people who were to be cremated were exposed in them.

What kind of message do you think the coffins convey?

We like to have a macabre feeling, that's a theme in the store. It's also to de-naturalize the coffins; it makes it kind of funny to use a coffin to display shoes. We play with macabre to show people there's nothing to be afraid of. We don't adore coffins or sleep in them; it's a fun prop because it's unnatural.

How has the store evolved since it first opened in 1996?

Absolutely, the store actually started as a thrift store, so it was only used and revamped clothing and shoes for the first year or two. Then some local designers started popping up, and were giving us the option of creating some clothing that were appropriate for the genre the owners were looking for, which turns out to be a lot easier than going around to other thrift sho

ps and garage sales to find clothes that suit the gothic genre. After a while the owners spotted a couple of companies were sprouting around the world and some companies that were already existing that had gothic jewellery and gothic clothes that we started ordering and importing stuff from various company. Now we don't have anything that is used, everything is new; it's about 70% imports 30% locally made.

How does Cruella keep up to date with alternative fashion?

Alternative culture has little waves but

it's never trends like popular culture. In popular culture you'll have trends that come and go from one season to the next. In alternative culture you have little currents that come and go but never completely go. You can dress like in the 1990s or 1980s and it's still very acceptable in alternative culture. Trends are just added to this snowball effect so it just keeps growing. You have new trends that come into the mix but the old ones never disappear. The way we've been keeping up with it by just seeing the public, the internet and underground magazines that talk about trends and style and what's upcoming. We've grown quite a bit, the store was just gothic clothing, it wasn't long before we started incorporating many other genres of sub-culture; whether it be psycho-billy, cyber-punk, Lolita, steam-punk.

Do think trends differ in Montreal than say Toronto or Vancouver?

There is definitely a global alternative current, especially now with the internet. There is a global alternative culture that is stronger than before. The internet is a place where people part of an alternative culture go to get their things since if you're from a smaller town than Montreal chances are there is barely any alternative community at all. So the only place to find that community is online.

From one city to the next the currents are different. Sometime there are delays; some cities are more avant-garde than others. Some cities have a bigger psycho-billy trend; some cities have more of a cyber-punk or black metal trend. It really varies from one city to the next.

How do you react to people who think alternative fashion is just wearing a lot of black?

Well, I'd say, the wearing a lot of black, is more focused on the gothic genre more than the other genres. It's a lot more than that; people look at things on the surface. And on the surface, the first thing that pops in your head when you see a group of people that are Goth is that they're all dressed in black, that they have no imagination, they just dress in black. You can't just see the clothes for the color, if you start looking at the designs you start noticing that these people are actually very creative. They are varied in the way that they dress. It just so happens that the clothes are black. As soon as the item isn't black anymore, it's not gothic anymore in the eyes of many people and they'll see the design of it more than the color. The color black seems to have a stronger energy than the design of the item.

What would you say to people who are afraid or intimidated to come into the store?

Don't be afraid! A lot of people that aren't alternative come in here and right away feel intimidated and they let us know that they're just here to look around, that they don't want to buy anything and then I tell them, there's no problem. They'll say, "I know I don't look like one of your customers."  But then I'll tell them, "You do look like one of my costumers." We definitely have to be nicer and more approachable than sales people in other stores. That's something that has to be very well respected by any employee that we hire because a lot of people will come in here with that prejudice that we're going to be mean, we're going to be kind of gloomy and that we don't want people not dressed in black coming here. Which is completely ridiculous, right away we try to make them feel right at home and it doesn't matter if you're not dressed in black, I mean half of our customers are not dressed in black or don't even know what gothic is but they're still very welcome here and that's half of our clientele.

Why do you think Cruella has stood the test of time?

We have a lot of selection, we've been here for a very long time, we're well known name, we're one of the oldest pillars of alternative culture in Montreal. So we think whenever people look for something that is very funky alternative Cruella is probably the first places that come to mind for that. And well choosing our products carefully I guess.

Terry Pratchett, a world renowned fantasy writer and satirist, has a personal dilemma. He has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and is slowly losing his clarity. His biggest fear is losing the ability to communicate, write, imagine -all the skills required for a writer to continue his work. But living in the UK, he knows assisted suicide is as illegal as it is controversial. Thus, his quest into the forbidden world of voluntary death begins, well outside his home and comfort zone.

"Choosing to Die" (2011) follows Pratchett both on the street and in his own private life, as he interviews those who have decided, essentially, to end a life they find too miserable to continue. This quest takes him to Switzerland, where he gets to the bottom of Dignitas (an assisted suicide organization) and even witnesses an assisted death.

The cinematography is simple, straightforward and real. This simplicity contrasts and complements the gravity of the subject. We get an uncensored look at a controversial, hard-to-look-at subject. It is done in two parts: interviews with the subjects, and then an introspective one-on-one with Pratchett. Whether we turn away uncomfortable or remain glued to the screen, we are faced with his dilemma and the questions that the film raises. Throughout the movie we, the viewers, are Pratchett's impartial accomplices.

Peter is shown to have trouble walking but seems completely lucid, yet is bent on ending his life. His wife expresses no particular emotion on either decision, which makes Pratchett wonder why would such a wealthy man, the owner of a nation-wide packaging company, with all his conveniences, choose to end such a privileged life?

For an apt contrast, he meets Mick Gordelier, a retired London taxi driver and another motor neurone disease sufferer. Unlike Peter, Mick has chosen to stay in the UK, preferring to be cared for in a hospice. Mick is quick-witted and cheerful. "I believe in assisted suicide," he says, but his answer is muddled. He seems to respect the decisions of others to end their burdened lives, but has clearly chosen against it. We are never given a concrete answer, just observe hostility from Mick's supportive sister.

Soon we are introduced to Andrew Colgan, a 42-year-old with multiple sclerosis, who Pratchett quickly grows fond of. Pratchett's dilemma clearly deepens when he realizes this young man, who has his whole life ahead of him, has decided to take advantage of the unconventional Dignitas services as well.  Burdened by a splitting judgement, Prachett decides to follow Andrew, Peter and Christine to Switzerland where he meets with Dignita's founder Ludwig Minelli.

Almost immediately, Minelli comes off as a sociopath. He trots around making awkward jokes about Englishmen and their love of tea. He shows Pratchett the facility reserved to foreigners; a shabby blue-painted house with two floors, one for each family. He carelessly mentions the convenience of having the two floors, and how there's no danger in them seeing one another until either of them is "done". Then he quickly changes subject and shows Pratchett the "lovely backyard".

In his office Minelli says, "70% of people who have gotten the green light will never come back," as he motions to the red collection of binders; the white ones are those who have been successfully, for a lack of a better word, assisted to their death.

When digging further, the rest of Minelli's charming exterior strips of. Dignitas are in fact running a business, one they call "a non-profit" organization, though their fees range from 20,000$ and on. What is more is that 22% of Dignitas' assisted suicides were people who didn't so much have terminal diseases as much as a general "weariness of life".  

This made me wonder, where would you draw the line? Can you entrust your life in a company that makes money granting the wishes of those who wish to die? This Minelli argues is called the right of "self-determination", a human right that has been a part of the Geneva conventions of the human rights -a very weak argument.

Looking for an unbiased opinion, Pratchett talks to one of the Dignita's doctors. She too seems to have her own agenda. She's hard at work trying to make a solid case for assisted suicide, and why wouldn't she, if Dignitas pays her salary?

When Pratchett raises the question of his Alzheimer's, asking if a doctor would be able to inject poison into him when he has lost his clarity, she gets uncomfortable. She can't have that on her conscious, she can only offer a person the poison and it was be that person's choice to drink it. That way she can sleep soundly, without feeling responsible.

On the whole I found Dignitas hard to stomach and their practices morbid and unnatural. At one point, the suicide instructor shows how to gulp the poison all at once, not by sipping (because if you sip you will only fall asleep); she does this with a glass of champagne. "Here, you try, see if you can do it", she gives a glass to the client.

Later, Andrew, which Peter has quickly and despite himself got attached to, is looking high-spirited before his last day on earth. "The die is cast," he makes a pun, when minutes before he was describing how he fell in love with Zurich, the mountains, the fields; his home away from home. "You think: 'do I have to go?'... Do I?" he says.

This hurry for death, this ecstatic anticipation for the end of life all the interviewees share is almost sickening. This excitement is for something new and unfamiliar, something people experience during life. They don't realize they will never experience this excitement ever again. I couldn't help but wonder if their decisions were all justified.

At the climax of the documentary, when the camera follows Peter on the day of his death Pratchett is distraught. "I can't believe this calmness. Peter's chuckling as if it's a tea party." The camera follows Peter and Christine every step of the way. They mundanely fill out the paperwork, have tea and chocolates, then sit on the couch awkwardly before Peter drinks his poison. Christine is silent and detached. Peter is strangely oblivious: "Yes, I'm quite sure I want to die. Yes."

Later, he begs for water in the arms of his suicide escort, and she tells him he can't have any in a reassuring voice while his wife pets his hand uncomfortably. The camera turns away, and we can hear dry coughing followed by snoring. "He's in a deep sleep," the escort assures everyone. And then the snoring stops. Peter is dead, and everyone who has watched the movie or was part of it has witnessed it.

The movie was met with controversy even before it premiered. It was also criticised by Pro-Life and Christian organizations for being biased. But I would argue this film had the opposite effect.Even when the film attempted to romanticise assisted suicide I remained unconvinced. When Pratchett visits the widow of the Belgian writer Hugo Claus, she describes their last moments together as incredibly intimate; they drink champagne and sing until he slowly slips away. "He died singing," she muses.

I would argue most of the subjects of the film are afflicted with what Dignitas coined as a "general weariness of life". I wished that instead, there was more focus on those who have chosen to live, a choice that is difficult but, I would argue, the more courageous one. As someone who thinks there is a strong case for legalizing assisted suicide, this movie led me see where this would be dangerous. If nothing, this movie makes a better case against it than any preachy Pro-Life movie ever can hope to do.

The movie ends ambiguously. Terry Pratchett says he would like to see assisted suicide done well in Britain, but it is unclear if he wants to see it first-hand. This ambiguity is tasteful, I thought. Without patronizing or telling the viewers what to think, it lets them draw their own conclusions, conclusions that might challenge their own initial preconceptions.

Death: the word alone is heavy with connotation, imagery, and memories. Death, just like the grim responsibility of becoming older and wiser, is unavoidable. While it happens you can't help but be smack down in the middle. When it's done and over with, you may supress it or deal with it as best you are able. Then, you are free to forget it (if you can), until it rears its ugly head again.

Many of us evade the subject for one reason or another, until we're too helpless to escape it. We don't talk about death, until it's is absolutely necessary.
"I think talking about death, thinking about death, is a reminder of our own mortality. So when you're talking about it you're reminding yourself that one day you too will die, and that's not something you want to think about, because it's a scary thought."

Born in an exotically sounding Asian country, Manchuria, Caleb was raised by his grandparents in Alberta, Canada. Occasionally moving from one part of Canada to another, Caleb finally settled in one of the world's largest metropolitans with his parents. He remembers New York fondly despite its reputation as a high crime city and having provided him with the brutal reality of 9/11. He calls it his home, now that he resides in Montreal somewhat begrudgingly.

When we've met, I had him immediately pegged as a "tragically morbid character". When he told me of his plans of becoming a Grief Counsellor, I joked that he already dressed like one. But Caleb is not so easy to categorize. On the surface, he is an ordinary 25 year old. He works as a bartender during the day, and is doing an internship to help him secure a spot in a Funeral Services program. But what makes him so fascinating is his outlook on life and his relationship with death. Caleb's sensitivity and wisdom are atypical of anyone I've met before. His is an old soul, and his way of seeing things showcases true nobility and altruism I thought were long extinct.

From a young age, Caleb has dealt with death. As a baby, he was startled when an attempt was made on his life due to a mysterious neighbourhood rivalry. A brick landed right on the bed where he lay, nearly missing him. When he was 6 he watched a market brawl involving a machete which led to the bloody death of one man. At 12, he had lost his favourite uncle in a car accident. At 13, coming back from school he watched as people jumped from the New York trade center as an alternative to burning inside the building or collapsing with it. In high school he was stabbed while defending a friend, and later in Montreal while stepping in to protect another, he was badly injured. The list goes on, as New York was the scenery for countless suicides and car accidents and the seedy neighbourhoods of Montreal rivaled them.

But I believe what made its most serious impact was losing his grandparents who, as he notes, "practically raised [him]" for a great deal of his childhood; so much so that he still sees them as parental figures more so than his parents. I look at him as I prod him with questions, more harshly than I initially intended, and I think: even as Caleb is now, the values his grandparents instilled in him are a testament that their memory lives on inside him.

After having graduated from McGill and received his BA in Behavioural Science and Psychology, Caleb decided to go into grief counselling because he believes helping others make sense of death can vicariously help his own loss. He even volunteered briefly at a suicide hotline, where his voice and advice were the only thing standing between the life and death of depressed and desperate youths --though he soon quit the job, lamenting over its ineffectiveness and impersonality.

He felt that those that volunteered did it out of personal gain, something to put on their resumes or a way of boasting, not out of a pure desire to help. The volunteers were also instructed to follow a rigid script of active listening, where the volunteer repeats a paraphrasing of what the caller has stated. This environment, Caleb found to be impersonal and ineffective, not the right environment for Caleb who is often overbearingly self-sacrificing.

He recalls one case that he was personally affected by; it was a young woman who was calling in sheer desperation. For one, the issue was serious, the real deal; a possible suicide. They talked for hours but getting attached was out of the question, and against policy --the  volunteers are not allowed to take the same call twice, and the callers cannot ask for them by name because real names cannot be given. He couldn't give her his name when she asked, though he tells me he really wanted to. That week, he was worried and losing countless hours of sleep, searching the papers and finding comfort that no suicides of young women were reported. "I like to think she sought help and got better," he says.

When my grandfather, my favourite person in the whole white world, had died it happened right before my eyes. It's a strange experience to depict, but the memory is both blurry and clear at the same time. I remember the place on the carpet where I was standing, and the distance from where it happened. I vaguely remember the look in my grandfather's eyes before he collapsed, and my body freezing even before my brain had time to process the situation. I spent a week crying under the table, like a helpless child, even though I was nearing 20. Having someone like Caleb to talk to would have made a difference, and perhaps prevented me from failing an entire semester in university.

When he talks about helping others deal with their grief, his eyes light up, and I think that he's made the right career choice.Though he always describes himself as extremely unlucky, I offer a different perspective: he is very lucky to have survived so many close-calls! And in many ways, we are more lucky to have someone of Caleb's compassion amidst a sea of morose individuals, because once he becomes a seasoned Grief Counsellor he will provide great comfort to those in need.

Before the interview is officially over, Caleb presents another wisdom. "We die twice," he says, and I'm already intrigued, anticipating something profound, "once, in our physical form, when our body dies, and another when our spirit dies, and the very last person who ever remembers us is no longer living." After we go our separate way, I lament: Caleb may die once, but this profile will immortalize a portrait of his character, a portrait painted with love.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Death, they say, is the only certain thing in life. Eventually all of us will deal with it in one way or another, and this is a generalization that is absolutely true. Children will often lose their elderly parents, accidents will rob parents of their children, and natural disasters and diseases will separate couples and rupture families. It's a grim subject no one likes to think or talk about, but that is precisely why none of us is ever prepared to face it. This instructional article outlines what experienced grief counsellors advice those that have experienced the death of a loved one, and it may help you deal with the grief you are experiencing.

Death can leave you angry, depressed and unable to cope with everyday life. It can leave you in denial about what has happened; feeling guilt and sometimes even emptiness.

The most common stages of grief are:

• • Denial: "This can't be happening to me."
  • Anger: "Why is this happening? Who is to blame?"
  • Bargaining: "Make this not happen, and in return I will ____."
  • Depression: "I'm too sad to do anything."
  • Acceptance: "I'm at peace with what happened."                                                       
    

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   But there is no wrong or right way to grieve, and any feelings you may experience are valid reactions that others in your position have dealt with as well. Each person has a different coping mechanism, and you should trust yours to help you heal.

2. Know that you are not alone.

Death affects all of us. It will eventually affect everyone you know and if it didn't affect you now, it would affect you at another time;  Know that despite this loss there are people who surround you that love you and care for you, that will readily go out of their way to help you in this difficult time. Accept their help, and let yourself feel loved.

3. Don't feel guilty for feeling happy or loved.

First and foremost, let go of your guilt. Death is inevitable and there was nothing you could have done. Death brings us a lot of sadness, but don't let your life be eaten away with constant grief. In order to overcome the pain you must continue on living. Don't forget all the wonderful things life has yet to offer. Love, adventure, passion, new experiences and meeting new people are as much part of your life as your grief is. Let yourself heal without being burdened with guilt, and enjoy the company of your loved ones.

4. Resist the urge to be by yourself.

It's easy to shut yourself out and remain in denial about the situation. Those who try to reach out and comfort you can make you feel angry and exhausted. However, the best way of dealing with death in the family is together. Let yourselves comfort one another and accept the help of friends and neighbours. Sometimes, by accepting their help you are also helping them grieve in their own way.

5. Talk about fond memories.

Know that the person you have lost would have wanted to be remembered fondly, not with a constant cloud of negativity hanging over your head each time you are reminded of them. Be thankful for having known them and shared beautiful memories with them, as these are the sacred remnants of his/her spirit. After all, now that his/ her physical form is gone, they still live on in you and in your memory of them, so make it a happy one.

6. Talk about your feelings.

Know that not talking about it and not thinking about it won't make the pain go away. In fact, many professionals agree that expressing one's emotions is often the most effective way of dealing with one's pain. That said, it will take you time to open up, and that is okay. When you do, choose the person closest to you, someone who will listen and understand, and someone you trust and are comfortable with.

7. When necessary don't shy away from seeking professional help.

Your friends and family will try to help you the best they can, but they will often struggle with saying or doing the right thing, if they can muster the courage to act at all. It is okay to admit to yourself that you need the help of a professional. They are more equipped to deal with you than even your most forthcoming family members; they have dealt with people who have been in your shoes and can provide you with resources that, perhaps, others cannot. You will be in good hands.

8. Rest.

It is best to hold off difficult and stressful events until you can face them effectively. Things like exams, moving to a new house, starting a new job, or going back to a stressful one, will have to wait until you are sure you can handle them. Let yourself have all the time you need to get to that point, and feel no guilt or trepidation about putting things on hold. Everyone will understand.

9. Know that time heals.

There is no expiry date on grief. Know that it will take you time to find yourself again. Dealing with grief is a journey; you won't know how much time it will take you to complete it, where it will take you and what kind of person you will be at the end of it, just know that you don't have to travel alone.

How old were you?
I was 5 or maybe 6. Really young.

When was the first time you saw a dead body?
The first time I saw an actual dead body is probably when I was thirteen. On September 11th, I was close enough to see a person jump. It's something you can't process at first and it may seem surreal, but at the same time the reality also hits you too, and the feeling that right there you saw a person die as they hit the ground at a distance, that's not something you forget.

What did it look like?
I couldn't see it in detail, but from a distance I saw a red spot on the ground. I don't think other people around me quite knew what they were looking at either. Maybe because in a way we're so used to seeing such things in movies, when we're faced with the reality of seeing something like this we don't really process reality anymore. That's a discussion unto itself; you know, when fiction and reality become blurred, how does that affect when we see something that's truly shocking?

Hey, who's asking the questions around here?

But you've got a point. I think our society has a fascination with gore and violence. I know you and I share an affinity for horror movies. Why do you think that is?
Well, because I know they're fake and I can understand and try to identify how they're made, and the techniques used to create those effects. Only because I know they're fake, fiction. In a strange way it provides an escape from the realities of death that I've seen in person. Things like 'snuff films' [there's an actual interest in accounts and videos of real deaths] those are all the more scary since that person's memory is forever trapped on film, and given the nature of the internet and how things spread on it, that makes it even scarier. In a way that person therefore dies over and over each time the film is viewed by someone.

You're referring to the horrific death of Lin Jun, Luka Magnotta's victim, right?
Yes, that's what I was thinking of.

So, do you think watching snuff films is immoral then?
I don't know. But I don't think it's right either, and I believe that in a way we're continuing this fascination with watching someone's death.

Would you say you're afraid of death?
I think everybody is, but I think it's not so much a fear of death but rather fear of the act of dying. Death is something that will happen to every one of us, from the moment we're born, and that's been decided for us all. The thing that is frightening is the very act of dying, and that last moment you experience... that's the thing that's frightening: being conscious right up to that last moment. That awful realization that comes over you: this is it; this is the last moment of your life.

Do you feel like death follows you?
No I don't think that death follows me, I don't think that death is an entity or agency, and I don't think I've had more experience than any average person around the person.

But you've had more experience than the average person...
Perhaps in North America we're more insulated from death, but I think as a whole most people in the world experience death more often than we'd like to think.

Can you frame your life in the context of your experiences with death?
Well, it's been a constant reminder that life can be short, and be taken away at any given moment and it's made me realize early on that life is something that, this is going to sound like a cliché, that it's something you have to treasure. You have to cherish and love those close to you, because they may be taken away from you at any time.

Most people would find your fascination with death a little morbid. What's so interesting about death?
Well, the interesting part about death that I've observed is that in our lifetime we die twice. The first death is the death of the body. That's the physical death. But the second, which I think is most important one, is the death of the spirit or memory, or whatever you want to call it. I think that when nobody is left to remember you, when nobody knows who you are anymore, when every last trace of you is forgotten, I think that's when you truly die. And that as long as you're remembered by someone, whether it's a friend or a loved one, you're not truly dead.

What would be scarier, then?
I think that would be the death of the spirit, the death of memory, that's the one that's more final.

What's more scary: dying and being remembered as evil or dying and not being remembered at all?
I think and not being remembered at all would be preferable. Being remembered as evil is a form of hell to me. Your memory is therefore trapped in a form of perpetual hell.

We've talked about watching the deaths of strangers. What's it like losing someone close to you?
When you lose somebody in your life that you care about, sometimes it doesn't just go away and you carry it with you for longer than you realize. Perhaps for me this is still true. For me, at an early age when you still don't understand how the world works, when you lose somebody dear to you it's not something you just walk away from. You feel like you're missing something...

Has death changed you, and shaped your personality, who you are as a person?
I guess it has desensitized me to certain things in a way, but I don't think it's made me jaded to it. It doesn't mean I don't feel anything. On the contrary, it's helped me respect what others go through... it's a tough question, but I guess maybe it's humbled me in a way... It reminds you just how small you are in the grand scheme of things and that perhaps we should help each other more in this life? Why are we often so callous and indifferent to the suffering and pain of others?

Has your experience with it motivated you want to become a Funeral Director?
In a way, yes. It makes me think that there's a way to make sense of it, and maybe to help others make sense of it, and perhaps find a sense of closure to what they've experienced. Many people can go for decades without fully coming to peace with the loss of a loved one, and in a way it's like carrying this ghost of a memory with you like a burden. I guess I want to do this too perhaps because it's a way for me to exorcise these same feelings from inside myself. I guess I don't want others to feel this way, and carry such pain with them, and in a way for me it's a form of vicarious self-help.

Montreal is a place that's buzzing with life. It boasts an interesting hybrid of Anglo-French culture and offers a remarkable account of Canadian history. Taking a stroll in the crisp winter weather, I can still feel the history coursing through the veins of monumental buildings in Old Montreal. I'm reminded that in the in 19^th century Montreal was considered the height of Canadian culture, equality and economic prosperity, and that for many writers, poets and actors Montreal was the obvious choice to set their roots and let their creative legacy unfurl.

Aside from the obvious remnants of culture that can still be found in the city's architecture, history hides in the unlikeliest places. In fact, the Mount Royal and Notre Dame des Neiges Cemeteries include the tombstones of many accomplished Montreal writers, actors, musicians, painters, hockey players and politicians.

Seems like a morbid activity for a cold Montreal day? Not at all. Cemeteries have long been the setting for unconventional romantic dates, a place where artists get inspired by their dearly departed mentors, and a concentration of a city's history where tourists can discover the secret lives people have led decades ago.

Since I sympathise with your curiosity I've decided to divulge these secrets, from beyond the grave, without compromising your physical warmth. You can remain under heavy covers, armed with a hot chocolate and read on the spooky/ odd/ amusing tales of famous, notorious and interesting dead Montrealers.

Nick Auf Der Maur (April 10, 1942 - April 8, 1998)

A Montreal writer, journalist, and political activist who was a known Montreal figure and quite popular in the downtown bars. He's fondly remembered as the 'unofficial ambassador to the world'. He started off as a columnist for the Montreal Gazette, and also wrote for the Montreal Star and Montreal News. Later he became Montreal's City Councillor and wrote a book entitled "The Million Dollar Game" exposing the supposed corruption of the 1976 Olympics. He is also the father of Melissa Auf Der Maur, who was the bass player in the prominent rock bands Hole and Smashing Pumpkins. So much for following in your parents' footsteps.

Alfred Laliberté (May 19, 1878 - January 13, 1953)

A Quebec born artist whose talent of woodcarving valorized him as the "sculptor of the rural tradition". He is best known for 200 small wooden sculptures he carved in resemblance of men and women from his native village depicting their trades and crafts, work which served in documenting the history of rural Quebec. In his youth, a Montreal paper "Le Presse" organized a scholarship drive just to send Laliberté to study at the École des Beaux-Arts in Paris. His work is still commemorated in exhibitions and museums today.

Calixa Lavallee (December 28, 1842 - January 21, 1891)

Photo by Jason Vietri.         Photo by Guy Gagnon.

Lavallee is responsible for the melody and lyrics that all Canadians know by heart. How can I make such a broad generalization and get away with it? Because Lavallee composed "O Canada", our national hymn, that's how! Though he left to pursue his career as a composer and conductor in the United States, fate, destiny, or what have you, brought him back to his native land. No pun intended, since when he died in 1891 he was buried in Boston, Massachusetts, but was brought back in 1933 to be reburied in Montreal. May he finally rest in peace, without unnecessary travel.

Raoul Barré (January 29, 1874 - May 21, 1932)

Barré is considered a pioneer cartoonist. He studied at the École des Beaux-Art s in Paris, but left when he satirized French military during the Dreyfus trial in 1898. His French Canadian comic strip, "For a Christmas Dinner" which he finished in 1902, inspired other artists to draw cartoons professionally. With his help, more advertisers began using cartoons to sell products and services. He even established the very first professional animation studio, where he collaborated with Bill Nollan and mentored young cartoonist who are now renowned for their art; these included, Walter Lantz, Bill Tytla, Frank Moser and Dick Huemer. Unfortunately he died of cancer before his great contribution to art and animation was acknowledged. His best known cartoon character is probably Felix the Cat.

Richard Blass (1945 - January 24, 1975)

Photo by John "J-Cat" Griffith.   Photo by Gilles Villeneuve.

From the famous to the notorious. Richard Blass, nicknamed "Le Chat" for his successful evasions from the police and the Cotroni mafia, started his criminal career as an amateur boxer; after losing a fight he stabbed another boxer. After attempting to gun down the mob boss Frank Cotroni, he survived three attempts made on his life by the Cotroni gang. During a robbery he killed a police officer but was caught and sentenced to forty years in jail. 9 months later he escaped, but was captured and returned. His second escape was more successful. He arranged to have guns smuggled into the prison, escape and kill those who testified against him. Two month later, Blass decided to eliminate everyone who happened to the shootings, and murdered ten men and three women with a fellow gang member. the police had launched a man-haunt that finally brought Richard Blass down; only this time they didn't catch bring him back alive. No escape for you, Blass, and sorry but I won't be leaving any flowers.

Mount Royal Cemetery:

J. William Dawson (October 13, 1820 - November 19, 1899)

Photo by Ron Moody.             Photo by Wendy Vaudry.

Dawson was a Canadian scientist who founded the Royal Society of Canada. he was the President of both the British and the American Associations for the Advancement of Science simultaneously. Dawson was a geologist and paleontologist and an adamant critic of Darwinism. But among his many accomplishments, his noteworthy 38 year tenure as McGill's principal has helped establish the university, for its very first time, as one of the leading post-secondary schools in Canada and outside of it.

Anna Harriet Leonowens (November 6, 1831 - January 19, 1915)

Photo by Ron Moody.         Photo by Del Lahey.

A teacher that served as a governess at the court of the King of Siam. Her life and experiences were the source for the book The King and I, which later was made into a play and movie musical starring Yul Brynner. Unfortunately, the wonderfully exaggerated Hollywood version was inaccurate. In truth, Anna was a widowed teacher who had limited influence on the students she taught in the court of Siam. Her relationship with the King Mongkut did not reach the levels of a friendship, although he was progressive enough to consider the education of his daughters and wives. When she returned to Canada she became a suffragette and founded the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design. Her own writing was not particularly popular but after she died, author Margaret Landon fictionalized her memoirs and thus popularized the story of "Anna and the King". Consequently a film and a musical were made soon after, though these are banned in Thailand due to their severe inaccuracy, out of respect for the monarch.

Jocelyn Gordon Whitehead (November 25, 1895 - July 5, 1954)

Mr. Whitehead will be forever known as the guy who killed Houdini, but in reality he was just at the wrong place at the wrong time, or as some conspiracists like to believe at the right place, at the right time. A McGill student at the time who accepted Houdini's challenge of being able to withstand any punch. His punch caught Houdini in the gut unprepared, and ruptured his appendix. Houdini was too proud to admit to the crushing pain that he felt after getting punched, by a mere mortal no less, and so died from the ensuing infection he never bothered treating.

John Molson (December 28, 1763 - January 11, 1836)

Photo by Jason Vietri.         Photo by Wendy Vaudry.

Who can ignore the contributions of beer brewer Jon Molson? Aside from his great contribution to Montreal's drink culture and the reputation of Canadian beer, which we're all undeniably grateful for, John Molson's benefactors, among many, were McGill University and Montreal's General Hospital. Molson was also the founder of Molson's Bank (which didn't survive him) and the owner of the Bank of Montreal (which has outlived him). But even though his economic contributions to Montreal are vast, I'm sure he would be satisfied with being remembered as the inventor of awesome Canadian beer --that's why we've built him such an impressive mausoleum!

Jacob Schick (1878-1937)

Photo by Daniel Tudor. The first patent.

The name is not known by many, until the association to Schick Razors is made clear. Jacob Schick not only founded the Schick Dry Shaver, Inc. Company but also the first man to patent an archaic version of the electric shaver. This very first dry shaver included injection cartridge blades and was designed to resemble a repeating rifle, an idea inspired by Schick's military service, where razors could be inserted without touching the blade. Undoubtedly without his inventiveness, we would still be struggling to shave ourselves with straight razors or forgo shaving altogether, a hairy situation indeed.

Charles Heavysege (May 2, 1816 - 1876)

Picture by Cristian Italia.

A Canadian poet and dramatist from the 19^th century. Originally from Yorkshire, England, Heavysege immigrated to Montreal where he worked as a wood carver. It's unclear what inspired Heavysege to pursue writing, but after becoming a reporter for the Montreal transcript and soon after the Montreal Daily Witness, he became city editor. His most distinguished work however is said to be his poetry and play, "Saul", which he wrote in dramatic verse akin to Shakespeare's. Come to think of it, his engraved photograph is greatly reminiscent of Shakespeare's hairline. Heavysege was said to be influenced by Milton, Shakespeare and the Bible, as is evident in the rhythm of his poetry. His poem "Dead" seems like it was destined to bring closure to my grim feature article about the dead:

"...So on us thoughts of the departed fall,
And with phantasma fill our gloomy gaze.
Awe and deep wonder lend the living lines,
And hope and ecstasy the borrowed beams;
While fitful fancy the full form divines,
And all is what imagination dreams."(Heavysege 9)

Shots rang out inside a closed bedroom in the Redpath mansion on Sherbrooke Street at approximately 6:00 p.m. on the evening of June 13, 1901.

 Peter Redpath rushed up the stairs and burst into his mother's bedroom where he saw the bodies of his mother, 56 year old Ada Mills Redpath, and his brother, 24 year old Jocelyn Clifford Redpath, lying on the floor a few feet apart in pools of blood. A revolver lay on the floor next to Clifford. Both mother and son had gunshot wounds to the head. Doctors were immediately called to the house. Ada Redpath died shortly thereafter; Clifford was barely alive and was taken to the Royal Victoria Hospital where he succumbed to his wounds a short time later.

     
This was the general story reported at the time of the incident. The initial thinking was that Clifford was killed in an attempt to stop his ailing and depressed mother from committing suicide.[1]  Unfortunately, the "evidence" given by witnesses became more and more contradictory and confusing, making solving of the mystery impossible. Now, 111 years later, curiosity still abounds concerning the events of that night.

Contradictory Evidence

At the coroner's inquest the very next day, Peter stated that Clifford appeared ill and tired upon his arrival home that fateful evening. He proceeded directly to his mother's bedroom and a few seconds later, shots were heard.[2] Another recounting has it that an argument ensued before the shooting. Peter was also later to have said that Clifford was homosexual and went to see his mother, most probably to tell her, hence the ensuing argument.

Initial reports indicated that two shots were heard, but in the Coroner's report, three shots Peter declared to having heard three.  The number of wounds to mother and son are also contradictory. Did Ada have only one shot to the back of her head or one to the head and one in the shoulder?  Clifford was reported to have one shot to the left temple; another newspaper report had it situated in the forehead over the left eye.[3]  A change to the site could indicate something other than a self-inflicted wound.

Doctors were called to the scene, yet shockingly, police were never notified of the accident, only finding out about it incidentally. One of the doctors at the scene reported that some foam was evident in Clifford's mouth, signs of an epileptic seizure. This gave rise to the theory that Clifford had shot his mother to cease her suffering and then shot himself while experiencing a grand mal seizure, thus making him not responsible for his behaviour. Although the family's physician, Dr. Thomas Roddick, maintained that Clifford was a known epileptic, no mention is made in the extensive family diaries that Clifford ever suffered from epilepsy. If Clifford did indeed commit suicide, why are there no suicides listed for that year in the city of Montreal for June of 1901?[4]  It is interesting to note here that Dr. Roddick, the family physician who gave evidence at the inquest, later married Amy.

The number of revolvers found at the scene also differs. In the coroner's report, Peter himself reported that one revolver was found, but, at the same inquest, Dr. Hugh Patton swore that there were two. One of the household staff, Mary Rose Shallow, stated that she had never seen a revolver in Ada's bedroom. Two revolvers instead of one give rise to yet another theory, one in which someone else shot the pair.

Ada died on the scene, but Clifford, barely clinging to life, was sent to the Royal Victoria Hospital where he died a short while later. No hospital records exist documenting this crisis.

Clifford's and Ada's states of mind that night are also called into question. The fact that Clifford recently paid the fee to sit the bar exam less than one month hence does not support the theory that he was unhappy and stressed to the point of depression and suicide. A dinner party planned for that evening does not support the theory that Ada would attempt suicide, either. Amy, who controlled the household, would have been overseeing the preparations, yet there was no mention of her part in the happenings of that evening. Where was Amy in all of this? 

Finally, the speed with which the whole situation was over and done with is unusual. The deaths occurred on a Thursday, the coroner's inquest was held at the mansion the following day, and the bodies were buried within 48 hours. Amy succeeded in quashing any mention of the tragedy and in a very short time no one mentioned either Ada, Clifford, or their deaths.[5]

Reasons for the Cover Up

The Victorian sensibilities of the time were such that unpleasant or embarrassing events were not to be acknowledged in order to maintain personal privacy and public respectability. Appearances had to be kept up. [6]. The conflicting information concerning the events of that night makes for interesting theories as to what really happened and shows how easy it was for the rich elite of the time living in the Golden Square Mile to cover up and make disappear something as serious as murder. One can only speculate that perhaps the confusion was deliberately orchestrated, intended to make an unpleasant event go away and to deflect any deep investigation into the matter. While we can only guess at what really happened that evening, only those present knew what happened.

Photo credits:

 1.  Title: Mrs. John Redpath's House, Sherbrooke Street, Montreal, QC, 1899

Creator: Wm. Notman & Son

Archive or Repository: Musée McCord Museum

Reference Number: II-129781

Notes: The Redpath home at 1065 Sherbrooke St. West was designed by Montreal architect John James Browne in 1870. For more information about this image please click here.

2. Title: Mrs. J.J. Redpath and Child, Montreal, QC, 1871

Creator: William Notman

Archive or Repository: Musée McCord Museum

Notes: Photographer William Notman shot this portrait of Ada Maria Mills Redpath with her only daughter and eldest child Amy Redpath in 1871. For more information about this image please click here.

3.  Title: Mr. J.C. Redpath, Law graduate, Montreal, QC, 1900

Creator: Wm. Notman & Son

Archive or Repository: Musée McCord Museum

Reference Number: II-133577

Notes: Jocelyn Clifford Redpath graduated from law at McGill University in 1900. For more information about this image please click here.

Works Cited

[1]  Unknown. "Mother and Son Dead." The Globe (Toronto) June 14, 1901

[2]  Coroner's Report, Ada Maria Mills Redpath, June 14, 1901

[3]  Unknown. "Coroner Holds Inquest." The Gazette (Montreal), June 15, 1901

 [4]  Adams, Annmarie, Valerie Minnett, Mary Anne Poutanen, and David Theodore. ""She must not stir out of a darkened room": The Redpath Mansion Mystery." Material Culture Review / Revue de la culture matérielle [Online], 72 (2010): n. pag. Web. 13 Sep. 2012

[5] Hustak, Alan. "Redpath Mansion Mystery Revived", The Gazette (Montreal), March 31, 2008

[6] Victorian Values An Introduction, compiled by Susan Bayley, Humanities Department, Dawson College, Fall 2008, pg. 24

A Brief Statement

The two largest cemeteries in North America, the Mount Royal Cemetery Co. and the Notre-Dame des Neiges cemetery, are both located in Montreal. The cemeteries are the burial grounds for more than "500 notable figures, from author Mordacai Richler to assassinated Father of Confederation Thomas D'Arcy McGee."(Cohen) Located on Mount Royal, the cemetaries are amongst Quebec's "most precious religious, cultural, and environmental sites" (Cohen), not only the resting place for Titanic survivors but premiers, ministers, mayors and hockey legend Maurice Richard as well.

But, alas, even the most beautiful and well-known cemeteries must encounter some bumps along the way. As the years go by, vandalism, union strikes and, what this paper focuses on, space issues are all realities the Mont Royal and Notre-Dame cemeteries deal with.

This backgrounder will focus on the two Mount Royal cemeteries unavoidable future struggles with burial space.

Some Cemetery History

Both cemeteries, one reserved for Catholics and the other for Protestant English, have the same pattern historically speaking with their development. They can be broken down into three phases, starting with their opening in the 1850's.

The first phase can be called the rural phase, lasting about 50 years. There were many complicated rules put in place, like Sunday interments being banned completely, making it difficult to visit the grounds on that day: "Sunday was reserved for card-carrying plot owners, and relatives of the poor in the Free Ground gained admittance only with a special pass"(Young), no one else was to enter the cemeteries at all.

This all changed with the welcoming of the second phase, which began when the cemeteries decided to hire their first superintendent. Roy (superintendent) "favored the lawn plan and flower beds that would eventually evolve in the 20^th century into the memorial garden" (Young), he played extra attention to the landscape of the cemetery in order to make it an aesthetically pleasing place for visitors. Roy also was the first in 1902 to found the first crematorium on Montreal. When he died in 1958 they opened Sundays to everyone.

The Quebec Quiet Revolution marks the beginning of the third and final phase that leads till the present. They turned the cemeteries into a visitor focused project, where "Bird watching and walking tours were promoted, bilingual signs installed, and terraced burial gardens developed for growing Orthodox and Asian clientele." (Young)

They started selling monuments and memorial plaques and the cemeteries run this way ever since.

Current space issue

Though both cemeteries are two of the largest in America as previously stated, their popularity makes them also two of the most densely populated cemeteries around, with over a million graves. The Mount Royal cemetery spanding over 68 hectares and the Notre-Dame des Neiges at 134 hectares will not be able to accommodate many more burials, "there simply is not any space left on the mountain" (Johnston).

Mount Royal has only 2 hectares available and don't see any burials being possible past the year 2018. This causes a huge issue for the baby boomer population, who the majority thought the mountain would be their final resting place.

If a solution to the space issue is not found, the cemeteries will have a huge problem awaiting them when the time comes. Suburban smaller cemeteries might be the only place the future Montrealers will be able to find room for themselves.

What will happen in the future?

The only solution to the space issue if pretty obvious, they need to expand. They need to find a way to be able to accommodate all the future clientele.

Mount Royal especially has a language issue, because even if they expanded to land east of the mountain, their English clients would not want to be buried in the east French area of Montreal. They though they "had found a way out of its land conundrum in 2002, when it purchased 39 hectares in Senneville"(Johnston), but that plan is still under discussion, because the residents of Senneville do not want a cemetery taking up land and not paying taxes. Both Cemeteries will have a hard time finding a space of land large enough to be able to expand to.

The other option the cemeteries could use to maintain the clientele of their cemeteries, if is they promote cremation much more. The cemeteries have even said that "only the deceased who are cremated will be eligible" (Johnston) once the grounds are full. This solution would reduce the space issue and is a trend that is becoming more popular.

Finally the cemeteries have come up with a plan to help keep space available over time. "Mount Royal cemetery will not be guaranteeing patrons burial in perpetuity... People will buy terms of up to 99 years, or shorter"(Johnston), beaning after their terms are up the grave will be vacated to make room for new burials. This is a trend already very popular in Europe and becoming an option in North America.

Regardless which option will work the best for either cemetery, it is something they need to take care of before it is too late and all the space is gone.

By: Julie Bourdeau

The compact disc (Photo credit: Wikipedia)